We’re taking social networking and the Internet to a whole new level and not in a good way. This was never what it was intended for, but here we are.
Why would a married couple apologize to each other over social media? Why would you not put down your phone and walk up to your partner or even call and apologize? Quite simple. How have we come to this?
How do we so easily allow people to know, even the slightest of details, about our relationships? How is that so acceptable now?
A word to the wise, it is never a good idea to have the entire Internet know when you and your partner are not on good terms or are making up. The ever so public apology over Facebook and/or Twitter will not magically solve whatever caused the problem to start with, heck it could very well add insult to injury.
Furthermore, even though it’s hard to imagine this until you’ve actually experienced it, but there exist such people who (perhaps unconsciously) envy all the mushy lovey dovey statuses and posts between you and your partner thinking you’re always happy and in love. They don’t see that, like any other couple, there are ups and downs.
There also exist people who decide to spice up a fight. Perhaps their heart is in the right place, but the moment you share any facts or outlines about your fight, you allow their point of view to influence your relationship.
A given fact is that fights between couples are quickly forgotten. Words said and actions done take their toll and are washed away with the making up and apologies. However other people don’t forget. They would sometimes even remind you of the past at the worst time possible. And instead of dealing with just the one problem at hand, you’re faced with all the previous pile ups which you might have already fixed anyway.
Unless you’re a “trouple”, it makes no sense that your business does not remain between just the two of you.
Believe me, it can only make you two stronger.
Besides, virtual make-ups are absolutely nothing compared to the real deal!
It’s been a while.
Actually it’s been an extremely long time.
I’ve always vowed to never turn into one of those girls that instantly change and disappear when they get engaged, or talk about tiles and furniture. Turns out, it’s not really a choice.
When you work a 9 to 5 job (or a 9 to 6 in my case) and start preparing for your married life, boy does that turn into a fiasco.
It starts off with the engagement. Did you know that most jewelers close at 9:30 or 10 maximum? Did you know that the good ones are mostly in Mohandeseen, Zamalek and Downtown? When you work in Heliopolis, finish at 6, head to destination by 7, and find Cairo traffic greeting you with lovely jams, it gets tricky. But other than the rings, finding the right dress, managing the planner, finding a suit for the groom and those final touches, you won’t be doing much for the engagement.
If you’re lucky, the fun engagement phase is usually the first couple of months, you get to go out, carefree, meet friends and be silly. Then you start realizing that it’s about time you get the apartment ready!
At that phase even the salesmen become so familiar with you that they remember what you bought more than you do! They can name each exhibition they’ve seen you at, and sometimes remember who else was with you. I thought a little bit more and they’d tell me what I was wearing!
It’s so easy to like furniture when you’re just looking around, but it’s a whole different story when you’re actually looking to BUY furniture for YOUR apartment. Suddenly you discover the weirdest details in stuff you had already liked before. There’s also the catastrophe of how terrible Egyptian quality of finishing is! Unless you have an extremely open budget, you will not find good finishing anywhere, at least in Cairo! I mean if you’re a craftsman wouldn’t you want your piece of art to be perfect!? Why would you assume that I’d be ok with less than perfect!? THIS IS MY FURNITURE, MY HOUSE!
Somewhere along the lines of furnishing, you’re reminded of the katb ketab, and as much as the event itself is “eventless”, the preparations for the day are still some what of a hassle. Dress, make-up, photographer, suit, souvenirs, venue, official papers and whatever crazy idea you want to have to be “different”. Then again, once you book all that, you’re worry free till the day.
Meanwhile, you’re still meant to find a wedding hall, a planner, the dress, the accessories, the theme and all those dreams you’ve had since you were 8 must now come to life.
Have you forgotten about the apartment already? Oh no no no! The workers, the lovely workers who can’t really know for sure when they’ll be done. And that bloody chair that you just can’t find anywhere. And the fabric; that fabric that would make this piece pop. You’re supposed to pick all that.
Have you tried shopping for a toilet seat before? I tell you it’s really fun! You go to the store, pull the lid up and voila, that’s where your poop will go! And yes it’s very important! I want my toilet to be comfy! NO YOU’RE CRAZY! MY TOILET!
You’re also supposed to pick the knobs, faucets, door handles, door color, door shape, main door shape, floors, paint, decor and all those tiny details that you would normally take for granted at your parent’s home. Believe me you’ll discover the tiniest details that you’ve never even thought of before.
And don’t get me started on the China, silverware and crystals!
I think that phase is when a girl starts learning how to juggle things; preparing to be supermom. It’s also the phase when all you can notice and process is colors, curtains, decor, furniture and various accessories, so you can imagine how fun it is to watch TV or chill over a movie.
But putting aside all the craziness, exhaustion, and the loss of social life, this phase is what brings out the worst in two people and families. I was told when I got engaged that I should start the preparations right away and not fear missing out on the “really getting to know each other” phase as it will come during that time, and I did not take that advice into consideration. Turns out, so very true.
It also brings the couple closer to each other. This is the first real test a couple will go through together.
I now daydream about that first “DOM” the Riq guy will play in the zaffa announcing the end of all the craziness. That is the real start of the end. I CAN’T WAIT!
It’s worth mentioning that I have the world’s best fiance whom without I would’ve already lost my mind. Yes, I still haven’t lost it yet, not at all even.
So that’s what’s been happening for the past month, and you wonder why I haven’t been writing much! There’s so little room for wandering when your mind is occupied with color pallets and that fricking chair that you have in mind and can’t find.
Pray for me, will you? And don’t tell me to enjoy this phase, ’cause I don’t know how that’s done, ok? Also, JUST PRAY FOR ME, DAMMIT!
It keeps getting harder and harder to sum up the years.
It may not be the lack of events but lately I’ve been feeling life’s just like one big roll, life itself is the duration. Numbers have lost their significance, whether age or dates.
Days come and go, and I don’t see the point anymore.
And because I don’t like to force anything, and because words are never good when forced, here goes a year with no usual summing up.
Farewell 31.12.2012 .. Hello 01.01.2013
* Back to indifference
I hate the fact I’m unable to blog anymore. I have no idea when or why this happened.
Have I run out of words? Even worse, have I run out of thoughts?
Have I become that kind of person that no longer thinks? Am I too involved in my current personal life that my mind no longer wanders off on its own?
Last time this happened I realized I was just sharing my thoughts with someone and hence did not feel the need to write. But this is not the case, and it’s not because I don’t share those thoughts, but rather because they’re not there.
Was I only breaking those chains with all my might? Have I become in peace with myself? Is there no more inner struggle? Have I found me?
Am I done with blogging as therapy? So, should I be happy?
Am I supposed to find answers to all the previous questions?
Perhaps writing was never really my thing to begin with.