The life I’m living

It’s been a while.

Actually it’s been an extremely long time.

I’ve always vowed to never turn into one of those girls that instantly change and disappear when they get engaged, or talk about tiles and furniture. Turns out, it’s not really a choice.

When you work a 9 to 5 job (or a 9 to 6 in my case) and start preparing for your married life, boy does that turn into a fiasco.

It starts off with the engagement. Did you know that most jewelers close at 9:30 or 10 maximum? Did you know that the good ones are mostly in Mohandeseen, Zamalek and Downtown? When you work in Heliopolis, finish at 6, head to destination by 7, and find Cairo traffic greeting you with lovely jams, it gets tricky. But other than the rings, finding the right dress, managing the planner, finding a suit for the groom and those final touches, you won’t be doing much for the engagement.

If you’re lucky, the fun engagement phase is usually the first couple of months, you get to go out, carefree, meet friends and be silly. Then you start realizing that it’s about time you get the apartment ready!

At that phase even the salesmen become so familiar with you that they remember what you bought more than you do! They can name each exhibition they’ve seen you at, and sometimes remember who else was with you. I thought a little bit more and they’d tell me what I was wearing!

It’s so easy to like furniture when you’re just looking around, but it’s a whole different story when you’re actually looking to BUY furniture for YOUR apartment. Suddenly you discover the weirdest details in stuff you had already liked before. There’s also the catastrophe of how terrible Egyptian quality of finishing is! Unless you have an extremely open budget, you will not find good finishing anywhere, at least in Cairo! I mean if you’re a craftsman wouldn’t you want your piece of art to be perfect!? Why would you assume that I’d be ok with less than perfect!? THIS IS MY FURNITURE, MY HOUSE!

Somewhere along the lines of furnishing, you’re reminded of the katb ketab, and as much as the event itself is “eventless”, the preparations for the day are still some what of a hassle. Dress, make-up, photographer, suit, souvenirs, venue, official papers and whatever crazy idea you want to have to be “different”. Then again, once you book all that, you’re worry free till the day.

Meanwhile, you’re still meant to find a wedding hall, a planner, the dress, the accessories, the theme and all those dreams you’ve had since you were 8 must now come to life.

Have you forgotten about the apartment already? Oh no no no! The workers, the lovely workers who can’t really know for sure when they’ll be done. And that bloody chair that you just can’t find anywhere. And the fabric; that fabric that would make this piece pop. You’re supposed to pick all that.

Have you tried shopping for a toilet seat before? I tell you it’s really fun! You go to the store, pull the lid up and voila, that’s where your poop will go! And yes it’s very important! I want my toilet to be comfy! NO YOU’RE CRAZY! MY TOILET!

You’re also supposed to pick the knobs, faucets, door handles, door color, door shape, main door shape, floors, paint, decor and all those tiny details that you would normally take for granted at your parent’s home. Believe me you’ll discover the tiniest details that you’ve never even thought of before.

And don’t get me started on the China, silverware and crystals!

I think that phase is when a girl starts learning how to juggle things; preparing to be supermom. It’s also the phase when all you can notice and process is colors, curtains, decor, furniture and various accessories, so you can imagine how fun it is to watch TV or chill over a movie.

But putting aside all the craziness, exhaustion, and the loss of social life, this phase is what brings out the worst in two people and families. I was told when I got engaged that I should start the preparations right away and not fear missing out on the “really getting to know each other” phase as it will come during that time, and I did not take that advice into consideration. Turns out, so very true.

It also brings the couple closer to each other. This is the first real test a couple will go through together.

I now daydream about that first “DOM” the Riq guy will play in the zaffa announcing the end of all the craziness. That is the real start of the end. I CAN’T WAIT!

It’s worth mentioning that I have the world’s best fiance whom without I would’ve already lost my mind. Yes, I still haven’t lost it yet, not at all even.

So that’s what’s been happening for the past month, and you wonder why I haven’t been writing much! There’s so little room for wandering when your mind is occupied with color pallets and that fricking chair that you have in mind and can’t find.

Pray for me, will you? And don’t tell me to enjoy this phase, ’cause I don’t know how that’s done, ok? Also, JUST PRAY FOR ME, DAMMIT!

June 4, 2013 by Menna Gamal

ma

They’re either meant to go together or not. If they don’t fit, then don’t force it; that shall only make it worse. Too much force could lead to fireworks, and not the good kind.

~Don’t mistake force for adapting though.

–My first geeky title!–

October 10, 2012 by Menna Gamal

Mish Impossible

I remember when I first came back from Ireland, I had gotten used to smiling to random strangers in the street and being met with weird awkward looks. People are just not used to a sane stranger’s smiling face, smiling for no reason whatsoever. However once in a while one would reciprocate with a semi-smile, then you’d get the weird looks from people around as they wonder what the hell those two are doing. I think over time, I stopped smiling to anyone I don’t know.

I wish more people would follow Ramez’s initiative. As cheesy as it may sound, a smile does make a huge difference. One should try to spread positive thoughts and optimism. And let’s never forget ” تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة “

So from now on, try starting your day with a smile and not a frown. Kiss your parents before you leave. Make your entrance at the workplace cheerful with a “Good Morning”. Wish people a happy day, every day.

Just smile all the time, whether you’re walking down the street or driving and you make eye contact with another driver or pedestrian. Use words like “excuse me” and “thank you”. Simple effortless gestures that make a huge difference :)

March 5, 2012 by Menna Gamal

The Process

“Oh snap out of it already, it ain’t that big-a-deal! You’re overreacting and blowing this way out of proportion!”

How many times have you told a friend who sought your advice and comfort those exact words? Have you ever regretted it?

We tend to belittle problems that we can’t relate to, those we never faced or dealt with first-hand. We can only imagine how we’d feel, how we’d react, what we’d do, what we’d say. We can’t even think what we’d want to be told at the moment to use as reference to comfort our friend. We’re just incapable of dealing with situations we can’t conceptualize.

Everyone is absolutely capable of screwing up his own shit, on their own, with no one else’s interference or intake. Yet we find ourselves, for one reason or another, seeking other people’s advice and blessings. We allow them to mingle and whether they comprehend the gravity of their advice or not, share part of the responsibility. Could it be because we need to have someone else to blame when the poop hits the fan? But when it comes down to it you blame no one but yourself, even if you followed other people’s advice, you blame yourself. So why do you involve others?

Perhaps because they’re more experienced? But what if they are? They never experienced the exact same situation; it’s impossible. And even if it were possible, the main characters in this incident are different, their personalities and circumstances are different. Even if the advicer knows you inside out, there’s always a side of you that no one knows. How can you fully trust their intake on a situation YOU narrated from YOUR point of view?

Everyone’s perfect when it comes to giving advice to others, but when it comes to oneself, it seems like the largest confusion cloud lingers over their head. You need help, support and sometimes Google. But here’s a piece of advice, before your run and pick up that phone of yours to call your bestie, just give yourself some time to think, process and make up your mind. Think about every detail, all possible scenarios for all possible outcomes. Use a pen and paper. And after you’ve done it all, then talk with people, compare notes and ask for advice.

One of my very dearest secret keepers usually hears me out, asks what I plan to do, modify my plan, discuss it and end the call. We go to sleep and on her way to work the next morning she’d call to modify the plan again.

The more important the incident, the longer and more careful the thinking process should be.

So what happens after the decision making and execution? Results.

Well, had you done your homework well, the result should be one of the expected outcomes, and the execution plan is ready. But sometimes it’s not, and there’s no shame in asking for some extra time to reevaluate and reprocess the newly reached phase, using the same process.

Be in control of your own decisions, no one will always be there, everyone eventually leaves, you’re the only one who’ll spend every living second with you. You can’t live your entire life dependent on someone.

 

~It’s all much easier said than done, however practice makes perfect!

February 23, 2012 by Menna Gamal

Lost between scars.

I was heading out to have the talk which I knew wouldn’t be too pleasant. Wanting to get it over with and afraid of it happening, I was as clumsy as I could be. I was very clumsy that I hurt myself snapping back the lid on my hand cream.

I looked at the palm of my hand where the wound was starting to formulate and blood couldn’t find a way to escape. I looked down at it and thought “an external wound to match the internal that shall shortly follow”.

Throughout the conversation I kept looking at the wound. It seemed like it was getting redder as the other wound got deeper.

The conversation was over and my wound was fresh. Over the next couple of days I convinced myself I was okay. It’s the best thing to do, quick and easy. But it was nature’s way to remind me, if an external wound can’t heal that fast, how can you expect any other wound to heal any faster?

Every day it was a reminder, it’s okay to not be okay… for now. Healing takes time.

And now the wound healed, and is peeling. The only thing attaching it to my body is thin skin, as the other wound. Does this mean that when I wake up tomorrow and that scar’s disappeared, I’d feel better? Probably not. But the physical reminder I had for that day will finally disappear, so I’m sure that’ll make me a little better… I hope.

Scars heal, sooner or later, all scars heal.

 

February 4, 2012 by Menna Gamal

Be prepared

So they say,

“Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.”

 

“Chance (luck) favors the prepared mind.” – Louis Pasteur

 

The two quotes were used today in different presentations during Cairo Security Camp. And while they were put in a security context, my mind processed them differently.

Always be prepared. If you’re prepared for all possible scenarios, you’re most likely going to feel lucky when all said and done.

Also, from now on, those two quotes are forever gonna be my response to “you over think, analyze and plan”. WIN!

September 30, 2011 by Menna Gamal